A New Question (part 1)

Who am I? Have you ever really stopped to think about the answer to this question. I was stopped dead in my tracks this week when confronted with these three simple words: "Who are you?" It's easy to answer this with things like, "I'm a property manager for the public housing authority in Grand Rapids," or "I'm a husband and a father," or "I'm a worship leader." But these are not so much who we are as they are what we are or what we do.

I think for the past several years I've found my identity (or tried to establish my identity) in what I do. Out of college I was a business consultant, then I moved to property management, then I was a youth pastor and a worship leader, then back to property management. But these really don't answer who I am. I've been married for a little more than seven years to Heidi, and we have a beautiful daughter named Ella...but this doesn't really answer who I am. I've led worship for years in big and small venues, but this still doesn't really answer who I am. I've played music in bars and clubs and coffee shops, but this still doesn't provide the answers I'm looking for. These all point towards gifts and talents and personality traits. But, at the end of the day they don't say a thing about who I really am.

This question came up at a Bible study I'm a part of...and it really got me thinking. I've tried for too long to characterize who I am by what I do. I think this might be part of the reason that I find myself so easily discontent. I try to force who I am into whatever I'm doing (job, ministry, friendships), and it doesn't fit. My job and ministry and friendships...even my family...cannot contain who I am. Which looking back over the past few years is a good thing...if my job was who I am, I would have been five different people in the last five years. That's right, five different jobs...horrible, I know. But as I look at each of those jobs, I see how I tried to squeeze who I am into them instead of letting them fit into who I am (current position excluded because I've adjusted my outlook on some things). At Woodhaven I tried to force passion into tradition. At Origins I tried to force high expectations into the status quo. At Park Place I tried to force leadership into a community that didn't want to be led. At Stone Falls I tried to force myself to be someone I was not in order to make the sale. Interestingly enough, these are all very good traits that I think I have...passion, high expectations, leadership, and even the ability to be all things to all people. I don't think these traits alone are who I am, but they certainly feed into it. And I've spent my whole life, really, trying to fit these into whatever I do.

I'm not going to go into who I am right now because I would like you, my faithful few readers, to ask that same question of yourself: "Who am I?" When you strip everything away, who are you?

Passion

It's been almost three months since I started working for the Grand Rapids Housing Commission. And, I must say, it's going really well. I love the people I work with, as well as the work that I'm doing. My work doesn't feel empty day in and day out. I feel like I'm actually making a difference in people's lives, and that's a very good feeling to have.

Speaking of making a difference in people's lives, there's someone who's making a difference in mine. I don't know his name, but nearly every day I drive past him. He stands on the corner of Burton and Eastern in Grand Rapids with a sign for Happy's Pizza. Now, I don't really like Happy's Pizza that much (in fact, I think Pizza places should be limited to...well...Pizza and subs/grinders...and simple Italian dishes...Happy's menu has everything...but that's for another day), but this guy makes me smile. He has what most would consider a boring, uneventful job. I know I would HATE standing on the corner with sign that says, "2 large pizzas $10.99" (and I would hate it even more to have to dress up like the Statue of Liberty at tax time and wave people in to get their taxes done). But this guy gets it done. Rain or shine, there he is. And he doesn't just stand and wave. No, this guy gets into his job. He paces back and forth around the corner of this busy intersection and dances and sings (or raps...I can't be sure because I can't actually hear him...I just see him mouthing words). And, he does this for hours on end I would assume. He's taken a job that most of us would hate and made it fun. He's passionate about it. He doesn't care what people are thinking. He just unashamedly draws attention to himself so that his audience...the cars driving by...will hopefully go to Happy's Pizza. I have the fortune of having some really good employees that work for me, but if I'm ever in a spot to hire someone, I want to hire this guy because of the energy he pours into his job. Not only does he make me smile when I see him, but he encourages me to live passionately...to not just go through the motions.

So, here's to you, "guy that dances and sings on the corner of Burton and Eastern"...you have single-handedly revolutionized your line of work.

Things I'm Thinking Right Now

Random, I know, but these are the things that are on my mind:

We don't have long, so we should love those around us without holding back.

I'm glad to be working with the least of these again.

Have we really been married for seven years?  Let's hope the next seven are as good as the last seven.

I wonder what I'll be doing seven years from now.

I can't wait to eat me some bbq for lunch tomorrow.

I still cry a lot when I think about my daughter...she is amazing.

Hmm, that's funny, my daughter just woke up in the middle of the night crying.

Corona is just as good with lemon as it is lime (I didn't feel like cutting open a fresh lime for one bottle of beer...so I used lemon that was already cut).

Before summer is over, I will create an amazing burger recipe.

This past weekend proves even more to me that the best places to eat are not the places everyone has heard of.

The Seasons Change Again

I've been working at Stone Falls of Ada, the newest luxury apartment community in Grand Rapids, for about a year. It's been a good ride. I've met a lot of really great people. I've made more money than I thought I would, and in this economy one cannot complain when he has gainful employment. The opportunity to work at Stone Falls came along at the right time for me. But, as it goes, a new opportunity presented itself a few weeks ago.

I'm still not really sure if I found the new opportunity, or if the new opportunity found me...but however it happened, I'm really glad it did. I start work on Monday with the Grand Rapids Housing Commission. I'm certain that God's hand has been all over this. When I first saw the job posting, I didn't think I had a shot at it, but I submitted my resume anyway. Two days after I submitted my resume, there was interview scheduled. About a week and a half after the interview (mixed with a few phone calls regarding references, etc.) I was offered the position. The position offers better pay and better benefits, but beyond that I believe it lines up more with my heart to care for those who are less fortunate than I. So, I'm anxiously awaiting Monday morning when I get to dive into a brand new opportunity pregnant with new challenges and new rewards.

There is Still Hope (or "We're Not All Greedy Hypocrites")

Opening Act

Tomorrow I get to open up for Lincoln Brewster.  For those of you who don't know, Lincoln Brewster is a worship leader from California.  He is one of the best guitarists in Christian music today.  He actually played on Steve Perry's (yeah...Steve Perry from Journey) solo album.  In other words, he's not some hack of a guitarist, but can hold his own in both the Christian and secular music industry (though I do not like the labels "Christian" and "secular" so I very rarely separate the two...I could say more, but it would bore you to tears).  So, anyway, I'm opening for Lincoln Brewster with some really great friends of mine helping me.  As I've been preparing for this show Saturday night, I started to think about all of the somewhat famous people I've at the chance to open for.  The remainder of this entry will take you on somewhat of a musical journey from my beginnings as a musician playing in bands.  Prepare to laugh.

In high school my buddies and I started a band.  Darin, Joel, Matt, and I had our first show on the back of a semi trailer.  Our band name was White Horse Riders.  We sucked.  I won't say anything else on this...except that it was our only show before we added a guy who actually knew how to play guitar named Brian Lee.  We also changed our band name because we thought White Horse Riders was really dumb.  Our drummer, Joel, liked the sound of Ma Foi, which is French for "My Faith."  We still sucked.  We found out later (though it was never confirmed) that "ma" is some form of feminine possessive pronoun in French.  Even though we didn't know for sure, we opted to change the name again just to avoid confusion.  So, we became Twenty-four Seven.  I regret to say that this was the best of the three names we ever had.

So, as Twenty-four Seven, we landed some pretty cool gigs.  We got to open up a show for Rebecca St. James...even though they made us play with our own sound system to the side of the stage...it was still fun.  And, being in high school, I had a crush on her because she was a girl and she was pretty.  I should note, that Rebecca St. James is still a girl, and she is still pretty, but I no longer have a crush on her.  I happen to have a crush on my wife, who is also a girl, and is even more pretty than Rebecca St. James.

Twenty-four Seven had one more very cool opening gig.  It was the chance to open for Christian rock band, Guardian.  Guardian was one of my favorite bands throughout high school, so this was really fun for me.  It wasn't a large show...maybe 100-150 people.  But to meet some musicians who you really look up to was an honor.  Even though we had the chance to open for some cool acts, we still sucked.  And, after high school, we were done...and I think we were all a little bit relieved.

So, in college, I started out just doing random worship leading.  But, then, during my sophomore or junior year (I forget which one), I started singing with a ska band.  Ska music was all the rage back in the late nineties, so we were right on time to be big.  I only actually sang one song with them at Cornerstone Chapel...Joy to the World.  It was fun, but I wasn't feeling like being in a ska band, so I bowed out.  And then the drummer, who was also named Jake, left (not sure where he went).  So the band that didn't have a name (that I can remember at least) all of a sudden decided to name themselves Two Jakes Short (because both Jakes had left).  Shortly after this, I joined up with some friends, Rick Hopkins, Jon Grunden, JJ Sherwood, and Jeff Hocking (who was later replaced by a guy named Ted for a gig or two, who was replace by Scott Gentry).   They had already formed a band, but needed a singer.  In hind sight, they probably should have made Rick sing, but nobody really knew he sang at the time.  So, I wrote lyrics and sang for the band.  We called ourselves Cue 22 (dumb name, I know).  We played some fun shows, and started playing at the Intersection in Grand Rapids fairly regularly.  Many great bands played this stage at one time, just not on the same night that we played.  We did get to open for a band called Grand Theft Audio once, and though they weren't a well-known band, they were good.  They were a British industrial-rock-pop band who had done some touring with P.O.D.  The good news is that I think we brought a bigger crowd than they did.  The bad news is that we only brought about 20 people.  It seems like we opened up for an indie band that was getting a lot of radio play on rock stations around the year 2000 called Creeper Lagoon...but I honestly don't really remember if that actually happened or not.  At any rate, this was the best band I had played with to date...and even though I don't really like a lot of the stuff we wrote anymore, we put together a pretty tight sound by the time we quit.

There were countless shows/events that I've played at that I haven't mentioned here.  Some of the most fun shows I've played have been in coffee shops and bars with my good friend Justin.  We make up the band called Reverend Larry Moonshine.  Of all the bands I've played in, and all the stages I've played on, I'm really excited for this Lincoln Brewster gig.  Here's why.  I feel like I'm at a different spot musically and spiritually than I've ever been.  I feel like it's become less and less about me and more and more about God.  I feel like all of my experience in leading worship and singing and playing guitar points me in the direction away from simply performing for a crowd and towards helping people sing to God.  That's what this gig is on Saturday...a chance to come together and sing loud to God.  And for that reason alone, I am excited and honored.

Why I Shop at Alger Hardware

We live in the best neighborhood in Grand Rapids...Alger Heights.  I love it so much that I wrote a song about it.  Since we own an old home, we have lots of repairs that are constantly needing to be done.  We have an amazing hardware store just four blocks from my house.  I like to shop here as opposed to stores like Lowe's, Home Depot, and Menards.  The prices tend to be a little bit higher (but not much...and the fact that it's so close to home cuts down on gas for the car, so it probably evens out).  

But, here are the reason I like to shop there:

1.  The staff knows what they're talking about...I have received free "lessons" on yard techniques, plumbing problems, electrical repairs, and the list goes on.  This cannot be said of big box stores.

2.  They always have what I need and it doesn't take me an hour to get there and back.  I can never find what I need at the big box stores...I'm sure it's there somewhere, but it seems that if I can't find the product I'm looking for, finding a worker to show me is just as difficult.

3.  They keep our paint colors for different rooms of the house in their computer system, so if I need to buy more paint for any particular room, I just need to say, "Blakeney kitchen" and up comes the color code.

4.  I love small businesses, and though I don't spend a ton of money there, I can tell they appreciate my business.

5.  Finally, I was in there this morning to return some things I didn't need and pick up some things I did need.  My total was 75 cents.  I didn't have any change, and rather than run my debit card, the owner said, "don't worry about it...you can pay me next time you're in."  I know it's only 75 cents, but this would not happen at any of the big box stores.

I guess the reason I feel compelled to write this tonight is...well, I'm not really sure.  No real spiritual lessons here.  No deep hidden truths.  I think it's just nice to know that there are places out there that care about people and provide a great service to their community.  Alger Hardware seems like a throwback to a simpler time...and we all could use some simpler times once in awhile.